A² ; αιμι-ьιоggιə☺

Monday, November 30, 2009

I feel soo sad now :(
bby's sis called me and inform abt bby..
she said he will give me a call..
but no :(
i was waiting the whole day ..
i called him after i finish work..
a few minutes later..
he off his phone again.. :(
why..
bby don't want me :(
i don't want to lose him :(
i'll call his sis tmr again..
*I don't want to lose bby :(*

I love you , bbyboy ! 12:40 am
Sunday, November 29, 2009

I don't know what should i do ?
:(
i just hope before our 6th month which is half a year..
things will be okay..
bby..
i love ue..
i love ue soo much..
i swear upon myself ..
i will never leave ue..
or break up with ue..
i can't live my life without ue bby :(
*I miss ue soo much :(*

I love you , bbyboy ! 4:47 pm
Saturday, November 28, 2009

I am left with nothing :(
i love ue sooo much..
i have given all my love to ue..
i have given everything to ue..
but what i get was just knowing that ue still contact with ur ex ?
i just can't understand..
why i can't replace her..
if ue want her..
why ue want me ?
if ue still want to keep in touch with ur ex then what am i to ue ?
what am i here for ue for ?
for imagining me as ur ex ?
ue are kissing me but ue imagine i am ue ex ?
is it ?
if it's true..
let me go..
i don't want to have ue if ue don't see that i exist..
i have left my ring in ur pocket..
i leave it to fate..
if ue realise and keep it..
i will talk things out with ue..
if ue don't realise it and the ring is lost..
we won't be together forever..
get this..
forever..
because i WON'T come back with my ex..
never..
i wish we can talk things out..
but..
how many times do ue want to make up with me ?
it was for only one day..
and , the next day ,
things will be back to ur way..
and again..
i was hurt..
and i cried..
sometimes i wonder..
if ue really love me..
if ue really want me..
if ue really treasure me like what ue said ?
or it was just WORDS ?
ue don't take things seriously..
ue take things for nothing..
i cried in front of ue
and it was just a sad scene .. ?
is it ?
and..
i know..
i can't take this..
i can't live without ue..
but i have to ..
ue don't love me..
*Why i can't be ur ONLY girl ? :(*

I love you , bbyboy ! 1:28 pm
Friday, November 27, 2009

I can't hang on anymore..
no matter how much i love ue..
no matter how long ue ignore me..
i'm still thinking of ue..
i never ever think of going back to my ex or
even talk to him..
i never ever think of talking to some other guys..
but ue..
i was soo stupid..
when i saw that thing..
i cried ..
i trust ue..
i love ue..
i thought ue really change..
i thought i was the only girl ue love..
i thought ue only had me in ur life..
i was wrong..
she was still in ur mind..
when the time ue did not even leave me a msg..
ue gave a testi to ur ex through friendster..
"hey.. happie swit 16 birthday.. cl me i plan smtg 4 ue..
my number ******** . kae thx"
what was that for ?
i replace ue with my ex..
i love ue more..
i don't even talk to him..
even if we meet..
we just hate each other forever..
but ue..
ue are still contacting with her..
the fact is..
ue still want her..
ue still want to stay contact with her..
why ?
why ?
i can't be ur true love ?
no wonder ue can live without my msg..
ue still have her in ur heart..
ue still have her in ur life..
although she treat ue very badly..
when ?
when will ue really change ?
i love ue..
but i came to realise..
no use having ue
if ue have other girls too..
and what's the the use of loving ue while ue still thinking of ur ex..
what's the use if i'm with ue..
but ue still wanting ur ex back ,
stay contact with her ?
what's the use if i am still with ue but ue..
can't forget ur ex..
what's the use if i am here and i can't replace her ?
i have to make a decision now..
if i continue with ue..
i am just hurting myself..
having ue..
but i can't even replace ur ex ?
*I am tired :(*

I love you , bbyboy ! 1:21 am
Thursday, November 26, 2009

Again..
end at 2 am :)
schedule at 12 am..
but it's okay..
since pay will come in more..
*I really hope things are in the way ue say it :)*

I love you , bbyboy ! 3:19 am
Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Wah piang..
in schedule..
end at 11.30..
end up end at 2 am :)
i am serious :)
but was fun uh !
*Bby..mish ue :(*

I love you , bbyboy ! 3:15 am
Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Aww..
it alr 3.06..
i am still awake..
i miss bby soo much :(
i really do miss him..
i want to have bby right now..
need him right now..
tmr working..
i don't know what time i will be working..
but for sure ard 4 most probably..
will end at pathetic 12 am AGAIN -.-
since it's school hols -.-
*Bbylove.. i love and miss ue soo much ! *

I love you , bbyboy ! 3:06 am
Monday, November 23, 2009

Okay !
today was boring lah..
really..
bby was msging me all the way ! :)
aww..
i miss bbyboy sooo muchh !
i want him right now !
*Bbyboy.. i nak ue ! :(*

I love you , bbyboy ! 11:51 pm
Sunday, November 22, 2009

Finish work at 12 am -.-
super freaking tired..
i was surprised with what JING2 said..
shall keep it to myself :)
hehe
well..
tmr..
gonna be another rotting day at home -.-
thought of going out..
but no one is free ..
thinking of toning..
but with who ?
i miss all my cousin now..
been months since i last meet up with them..
and to Hafiz..
i'm glad that now ue can accept the fact :)
and i am always here with open ears to be ur little fren..
who always hear whatever ue need to share :)
*Love .. love.. ue hunny ! :)*

I love you , bbyboy ! 3:20 am
Saturday, November 21, 2009

I can't sleep !
thinking of bby all day long..
i can't get him out of my mind..
he is my soul..
i swear..
if he's gone..
i would be dead..
if i can't be dead..
then i'll just be dead inside..
i miss all my frens..
i miss hanging out with them..
but always..
i miss bby the most ! :)
*My only bbyboy !
i love ue ! :)*

I love you , bbyboy ! 12:06 am
Friday, November 20, 2009

Everything is as smooth as before..
i am soo happy that things are not as bad as i think..
but my heart says something true..
bby won't want to lose me :)
and i still do love him..
indeed i love him soo much ! :)
work from 12-8..
was not as tired as always..
bby was msging me all the way..
Kak Faiza was irritated by my ringtone :)
hehe..
boyfie loves me ! :)
Oh ya..
Happy anni to Effa&Khai ! :)
last long okay ! :)
*I knew from the start my heart would be yours..
and i will have ue :)*

I love you , bbyboy ! 11:17 pm
Thursday, November 19, 2009

Happy 5th month anni saaaaaaayaaaangku !:)
I'll post your favourite picture then..
finally..
i feel soo relief..
it was a very very very very good cry..
the most suckiest conversation we had..
i swear bby..
i wouldn't want it to happen again..
saaaaayaaaaaangku !
i love ue !
*My heart is taken and the person is you !
i love ue hunnybby ! :)*

I love you , bbyboy ! 12:00 am
Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Just one more day..
just..
one more..
but i'm alr suffering like hell..

i told myself ue WOULD msg me tmr night..

My heart says that..
my heart knows the best..
i love ue and it's true..
thanks Naz , ue are here for me :)
appreaciate that a lot !
but..

bby..
ue are soo good..
maybe too good..
ue deserve a better gf..
not like me :(

i just don'tknow what will happen when i'm not with ue anymore..

bby..
i am still holding on to ur words..
that ue will not leave me..
but ..
i am not a good gf..

A handsome guy like ue should get a good gf..
bby..
i love ue..
i miss ue..
i need ue..

Just one more day..
but something is also telling me that..
ue won't msg me :(

I love you , bbyboy ! 1:51 am
Tuesday, November 17, 2009

:(
it's alr 48 FULL hours ..
there's still no msg or cl from him ..
does he know that i have been missing him like hell ?
he does not even msg me 'bby , i miss ue soo much'

like he usually does..

He do not need me in his life anymore :(
i love him soo much..
just hope that on the 18 night he will remember it..
i should prepare myself ealier.
i'm not prepare and still he's giving me hint..
bby..

i need ue soo much..
i don't want to lose ue..
once is enough..
i can't sleep without ur gd nyte ks..
i can't eat without ur msg on my phone..
bby..

i know we need time..
that is why i am trying very hard not to disturb ur time..
i guess ue are having a lot of fun in ur workplace..
ue won't remember me..
maybe ue won't have feelings for me anymore !!
ugh..
i need to stop.

i cry through typing all this bby..
do ue know that ?
do ue know i love ue although i know ue won't msg b4 i do..
i still can't stop staring on my phone..
i know ue can say this 'stare all ue want , i won't msg ue or even cl ue'..

bby..
what have i done to deserve this ?
enough lah..
i almost got molested by my ex few days ago :(
i was alone in the dark..
but all i think was ue..
i managed to run..
although he managed to hurt me..

bby..
i have alr received a punishment..
what's more ue want me to have ?
after i got rape then ue will come to me..
maybe ue will ask for break..
not wanting to know how i am doing..

it's better that i stop now..
everything i wrote is just a waste :(
i know , I KNOW..
ue..
won't..
care..

I love you , bbyboy ! 12:19 am
Monday, November 16, 2009

i don't know what i should do now..
i am speechless.
i am clueless..
wonder what he is doing now..
i don't know why but he will always ignore me..
when i wanna talk things out with him..
he even said this 'say whatever ue want'..
he seems to be fine..
i don't see that he need me in his life anymore..
i'm thinking of taking this step..
SB..
but..
i don't know if i can ?
even now..
i can't stop thinking abt him ..
and can't stop looking on my phone screen hoping..
that he will msg me soon ?
bby.
i miss ue..
i hope on the 18 nite..
he would msg me..
*Bby..i can't live without ue..
i miss ue :(*

I love you , bbyboy ! 2:04 pm
Sunday, November 15, 2009

I don't know what should i do now ?
*Bby.. i miss ue :(*

I love you , bbyboy ! 5:43 am
Saturday, November 14, 2009

Ugh !

why ?
why ?
why ?
i am soo freaking tired..
it seems that everyone having a bad time around me..
even me myself am..
bby..
i feel soo far from ue.
yes i came to realise something..
it may be from our relationship that is too young..
but i know we can do..
first 2 months we were doing just fine..
i realise that..
after our 3rd months..
things start to shake up a little..
things go up and down..
bby..
both of us have cried before..
and ue know that i shed my tears like..
more then 6 times..
but things was still the same..
bby..
tell me..
what is making us go like this ?
i can't cry anymore..
it hurts me more then before..
i pai tao work today just for ue..
but ended up..
ue said it was cancelled :(
it's gonna be just few days to our 5th month..
bby..
i really hope things can change..
if not..
i guess i will take that move..
*There's no more sunday morning for us..
soo when can i meet ue again ?
one month later ? :(*

I love you , bbyboy ! 2:16 pm
Friday, November 13, 2009

I miss bby :(

I love you , bbyboy ! 2:27 am
Thursday, November 12, 2009

Yea !
i can't sleep -.-
how i wish i just love bby
and there's no more probs..
all those things just making my head go..
!#@$%#^&%%@$#%..
like ugh !
i'm tired..
although i am just freaking 15 -.-
small kid to ue guys but too old for me..
i do have lots of probs okay..
just hope things can slow down for me..
wokring at 5-12..
good luck aini :)
*Saaaaayaaaaaaang bbyboy ! :)*

I love you , bbyboy ! 2:24 am
Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Yeah !
work till 11..
like uh !
i'm suppose to finish at 10.30..
but my bad luck..
customer came when i was about to pounch out !
-.-
and yea..
one mat wanna know me..
i said i don't mind as a fren..
he said after that he plan to have me as a gf..
like hello ?
i'm att !
he made me pissed off with that sentence..
shall not say out..
i scold him like dog..
but still..
he swear to get me..
whatever lah ehk..
ue suit with a minah..
and i am not a MINAH !
get this !
i will never be a MINAH !
fcuk !
*Thanks syg..
i love ue ! :)*

I love you , bbyboy ! 11:07 am
Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Bby !
he's doing his paper very well
i think ?
he should be doing just fine man !
yea !
that's my babes and fauzieee !
the guy who loves to fart ! -.-
and i am soo lazy to work..
yea !
in weeks time..
going to enjoy like hell !
and gonna put aside all the worries ! :)
i can't wait ! :)
*Sygku..
i also don't want to lose ue..
sorry kay bby ? :)*

I love you , bbyboy ! 1:55 pm
Monday, November 09, 2009

Had a lot of fun with my bbyboy !
he was sooo sweet lah !
now i am confidence ! :)
he don't want lose me..
as i said before :)
it hurt me to treat him this way..
but it works :)
and look !
nice shirt huh ?
i brought it for him !
and i can't wait to go shopping or go out with..
my babes and dudes ! :)
*Bbysyg.. good luck for tmr papers !
i love ue !
go go go ! :)
i sayang ue tau ! :)*

I love you , bbyboy ! 1:50 pm
Sunday, November 08, 2009

Thank ue soo much ..
to My girls !
Michele and Effa for all the words :)
love ue all lah ! :)
i just hope things will get better for me..
i am not prepare for the worst..
and i don't even want to prepare myself..
now ..
it's all in ue hands..
but if the way out is negative..
i'll accept it somehow..
but i know ue love me :)
don't cry bby..
i just want ue to know how i feel..
and it hurts me to treat ue this way..
*I don't know when will this end..
but i know for sure..
ue love me soo much ! :)
me too syg !
i love ue soooooo much ! :)*

I love you , bbyboy ! 2:12 pm
Saturday, November 07, 2009

I thought everything was okay..
i thought everything was back to before..
i thought it will end here..
i thought i would have some peace..
i thought i would end my suffering there..
i thought ue know how i feels..
i thought ue know that ue are the one who make me
in this state..
it was all my thoughts..
it was never true..
everything was still rocky..
it was never peace enough for me..
my suffering won't end..
i don't know what i should do..
i don't know what makes ue think i have another guy
in my life..
i don't know what makes ue think
i change..
i'm tired..
do whatever ue want ..
if this how ue want it to be.
if this is the way ue want to treat me..
then be it..
i am never the best for ue..
i know that..
don't ue know how much i love ue until now ?
when all this shitty things will end ?
when can i have ue ?
the andy who use to love me soo much ?
when syg..
i love ue no matter what happens..

I love you , bbyboy ! 12:29 am
Friday, November 06, 2009

Pics for ue to see :)

I love you , bbyboy ! 10:34 pm
Thursday, November 05, 2009

This is for ue My xuan :(
it's already been three years..
and now you are gone just like that..
i was away while the last time ue were in singapore :(
i was on my homestay :(
i feel very bad..
first time i met ue..
i find ue very beautiful..
all guys were crazy over ue..
even my best partner..
Nicholas hoe jiajun..
remember ?
now he is also gone..
but recently update me with all his things :)
but ue ..
:(
sec 2 was the time when i was very close..
to ue ..
remember ?
ue are my shuai ge !
now..
there's no more shuai ge ! :(
sec 3 was went ue told me everything ?
ue told me everything change..
yes..
i have better understanding of friendship..
ue see with ue own eyes..
that how they treat others..
and ue know i am there for ue always..
after our meals..
ue are the last to finish..
but i wait for ue :)
and friday was the last day with you :(
this will be the last photo with you :(
my xuan !
remember me okay !
remember our friendship !
i love ue my xuan !
i'll miss ue ! :(

I love you , bbyboy ! 4:42 am
Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Let the pics do talking !
enjoy ! :)